did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
