in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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