well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
