Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
