Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
