I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
