Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My dick has a subreddit
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
