super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
