Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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