i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
