high people should be assigned attendants
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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