My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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