Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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