do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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