we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
