but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
