I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
