My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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