I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
