call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
