I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
