Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
