Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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