it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
