my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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