wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
