im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
