i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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