once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
