making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
