It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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