Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
