I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
