I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
