i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
