I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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