Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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