GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
