Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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