I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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