Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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