I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
