Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
