'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
