i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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