But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
