im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Everything about him screamed your future.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can I color on your dick again?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
