where does the pee come out of this thing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
