btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
