What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
